Douglas called mom right up until the time of her death. He said that 'she always believed that special relationships existed, if only people spent more time looking for them.'
When I first graduated, I taught in a Church of Ireland primary school in South Exeter road, Dublin. The head teacher was a Mr William Power and his assistant had been a John Perry, who then emigrated to Canada. I filled his vacancy and as a result of this, became a life-long friend of the Power family.
As it was a church-run school, William reported to the local Vicar, the Rev. Johnson. Douglas remembers the assistant being Rev. Comiskey but mom remembers him being his unpleasant successor. Although married, Rev. Comiskey took a keen interest in me and William had to step in to support me to end it.
According to Douglas's memory, mom had to leave the school when she married my father because he was a catholic, but according to a note I found from my mother, her early departure could have been linked to the attentions of this man. I think that mom's account was probably correct since she did not marry dad until 1959 and she left St Catherine's Dublin in September 1956, having taught there since July 1945. (She then taught in Milltown with the Sisters of Charity from October 1956 to April 1953. Regardless, Douglas said that his father was sad to see her go and the family relationships remained strong afterwards.
William's son, Douglas, was studying Civil Engineering at the University at that time. At that time he was living with his parents in Dublin, in the Crumlin Parish. He qualified in 1952, a year before I completed my BA General Studies course I had started in 51 as an external student, (this was a follow-on to my dip end in 47 and the second half of the Biblical Diploma exam, in 49.
Douglas, like many, remembered my association to Professor Dick Hartford of Trinity College, (Dublin University), an active protestant. Each Friday over our two years there we attended lectures in Trinity with other students, mainly divinity. Marion and Doris Shea, whose father I used to play the organ for at that time in Newcastle and Rathcoole Churches, were the only guests of mine at my conferring. Having a degree entitled me to an extra increment on my salary as a teacher.
I was invited to celebrate Douglas's 21st birthday in 1952, the year of his graduation. Douglas believes that his parents might have been trying to matchmake. However, it was during that party that Douglas met Joan, his future wife. They got married in 1957
Douglas went on to work for Irish Railways (then CIE) (incidentally, as did Mike) and then I was transferred to British Rail and lived in various parts of the UK before shortly returning to CIE again for a spell, and finally settling in England. Douglas and Joan both outlived Patricia.
During this years I had little communication with Douglas but I was still in touch with Douglas's mother, Margaret. I would visit her regularly, particularly after William died, and even visited Kilkenny with her so that we could spend time recalling the past.
By talking about the past, Margaret and I had discovered that our respective families had touched each other also in the past. Margaret had been born in Kirkcaldy, East Scotland to a father who was a qualified Cabinet Maker by profession. When still a teenager, the family had moved to Ireland (which, at the time, was still part of the United Kingdom). They settled in Kilkenny where he became the manager of the Woodworking Factory.
Margaret would visit the factory regularly and on one occassion saw a young man starting an apprenticeship who had his girlfriend in the background. It transpired that his parents, who lived some distance away, wanted him to terminate his relationship with the young girl and they thought that the apprenticeship might help. However, the couple had other ideas in mind and registered their marriage in Kilkenny, left Ireland and moved to England.
They subsequently returned to Ireland and took part in a Church wedding. The couple were my parents.
Mike and I were dating and attending evening classes in Trinity together from 58 to 59, when we finally married that October. We moved to the UK in 1963 and, as graduates of Trinity (T.C.D.), were first very active in the Irish Club in London and then fairly regular attendees at Trinity Lunchoens. One year Pat spotted Douglas's name on the list of those who were to attend the Trinity Graduates Lunch in Oxford and from that point forward we were again in regular contact - particularly after Margaret's death. His friendship was a blessing throughout my life.
Joan and Douglas spent the day in Oxford with myself and Mike and also met us in London for a Trinity Reunion. (Ian remembers a story from mom about a discussion at the reunion that apparently had mom kicking Douglas under the table to stop him saying something that might have gotten her into trouble with dad. :)). Anna later met Douglas with Paivi and Pasi and myself in Oxford in Malmaison Hotel, I think. Douglas remembers punting with us.
An interesting addendum to the interrelated lives that Douglas supplied on Pat's death was that during Pat's school days (Abbeyleix? Rochelle? Dublin?), the local Rector was Dean Burrows and ever since that, a member of that family was prominent in her life. When Douglas lived with his parents in Dublin, in the Crumlin Parish, the Vicar there at that time was the Rev. Burrows. He was a regular visitor to their house and Douglas got to know him well. At one point the Rev. Burrows and his wife were involved in a serious road crash and were told that it was most unlikely that she would be able to have children. However, the experts were wrong and she later had a son who is now, in 2020, a Bishop himself, with his Headquarters in Kilkenny. In the last years of her life but during Covid in particular, mom enjoyed listening to and watching his Sunday Services using modern technology.
When Bishop Burrows was informed of her death he responded:
'I am so sorry to hear this ; I’m very touched that you should let me know and my heart and prayers go out to you.
Right up to very recently, including during the lockdown, your mother was one of the most diligent and encouraging followers of my online efforts, as well as being a delightful correspondent. She always seemed so young in mind, and yet so rich in memory. She followed events in this diocese with an eagle eye.
Both Patrick Harvey and I had clergy fathers who would have moved in the world of people like RR Hartford (with all his Abbeyleix connections) and she loved to share memories of those times when people like George Simms and Henry McAdoo also dominated the life of the Church of Ireland. In many ways she brought to life for me in correspondence people who were largely names of which I was in awe as a child. My parents used to keep in touch with Diana Hartford for many years ... and wasn’t I right to recall that their son Christian was a train driver?! RRH in addition to his academic pursuits was also the biographer of one of my great predecessors Godfrey Day.
Anyway I mustn’t go on. She delightfully opened for me windows on the world which formed me and which I understood better on account of her recollections. She clearly was a person of searching mind, depth, spirituality and humour and I shall miss her distinctive comments and her great encouragement.
You have my most sincere sympathy.
Ever
Michael Burrows.